Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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