i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
being pregnant is like rehab
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
