Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

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(248): View more from Michigan

I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint

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(513): View more from Ohio

She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....

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(407): View more from Florida

i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel

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(607): View more from New York

Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.

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(801): View more from Utah

sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.

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