If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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