I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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