Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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