Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

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(434): View more from Virginia

He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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(740): View more from Ohio

Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.

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(360): View more from Washington

I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.

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