Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!

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  (214): New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma! http://tfl.nu/1dky
  Replies (67) Good night (1207) Bad night (4226)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

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  (281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9
  Replies (32) Good night (11067) Bad night (1232)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.

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  (330): I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now. http://tfl.nu/yqbr
  Replies (10) Good night (3525) Bad night (1382)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.

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  (917): My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table. http://tfl.nu/qx0a
  Replies (4) Good night (4019) Bad night (786)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight

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  (616): Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight http://tfl.nu/blku
  Replies (10) Good night (1808) Bad night (607)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.

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  (406): she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over. http://tfl.nu/abn4
  Replies (8) Good night (3239) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition

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  (217): I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition http://tfl.nu/xug9
  Replies (0) Good night (1172) Bad night (606)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.

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  (781): I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/k1ge
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (1330)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.

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  (281): I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break. http://tfl.nu/hgxj
  Replies (5) Good night (1468) Bad night (441)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".

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  (727): No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die". http://tfl.nu/gpa4
  Replies (3) Good night (1289) Bad night (559)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you know how to give stiches?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I do not...this text concerns me

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  (612): Do you know how to give stiches? (1-612): I do not...this text concerns me http://tfl.nu/8jm1
  Replies (5) Good night (1666) Bad night (572)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy

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  (519): I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy http://tfl.nu/0rhn
  Replies (5) Good night (738) Bad night (337)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.

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  (506): Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres. http://tfl.nu/tq3r
  Replies (2) Good night (272) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie

  (1-551): View more from New Jersey

  You've got post-grad studies written all over you

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  (551): My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie (1-551): You've got post-grad studies written all over you http://tfl.nu/kigg
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (203)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work

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  (763): you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work http://tfl.nu/lqsd
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (192)

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