obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Barsexuality is the new black.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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