guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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