Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
bring money and cleavage
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
