I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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