I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
