she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
