he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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