this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
