he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
