ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
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you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
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well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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