I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My orgasm happened in two different decades
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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