At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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