No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
