yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
