First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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