i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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