Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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