Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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