why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ugly people sure do ruin things
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm like, not good at living.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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