4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
