I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
