Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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