Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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