So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
