my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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