its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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