it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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