I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
