i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
