i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
