Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
