Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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