so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
