Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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