Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
