If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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