The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
