apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
