hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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