now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize