You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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