This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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