Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
