who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
