Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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