The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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