No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
