Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize