just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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